


Homebound

by FoxyEgg



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: 4 Years Alone Is Hard, 80's Music, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bad 80's Music, Depression, Gen, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, Isolation, Mars, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Injuries, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Potatoes, Rescue, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Separation Anxiety, Serious Injuries, Sick Character, Sobbing, Social Anxiety, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, Touch-Starved, Trauma, si-fi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2020-09-27 15:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 7,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20410327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxyEgg/pseuds/FoxyEgg
Summary: On sol 2,004 Ares IV comes. That's a long ass time to be alone.(AU where Mark was never noticed by NASA and he's currently waiting for Ares IV to come.)





	1. Fun

**Author's Note:**

> .:Look at tags for spoilers/warnings/information:.

**Sol 592**

Mark was so fucked. 

He thought he was fucked when the HAB decompressed but no, the crops inside of Rover I survived. Sure, maybe not the  _ best  _ way of getting a good ration, but hell, it was better then the shit that Mars was giving him. He was fucked currently because he can hear voices. 

“ _ For sure there aren’t any people here, there can’t be. _ ” 

He checked for the fifth time just to make sure. Then a sixth time when the laughing returned.

Was it Mars? Was she laughing at his pain? No, Mars can’t be that mean; she let him plant healthy potatoes on her head without poisoning them. Mark was going crazy and he knew it.

He could still hear the loud winds and the searing pain in his abdomen.  _ How had NASA not noticed _ ? Did they… Did they hate him or something? Did they not want him to come back?

“Of course they wouldn’t, even your friends left you here,” someone chuckled in the background.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why don’t you just go and shove your words right up your-”

“Pathetic.  _ Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic _ ,” the person whispered, venom sliding off their tounge.

He thought he was doing so well.

  
  


**Sol 600**

Mark had just gotten past the 600 sol mark.

Ares III was already home. Maybe morning his loss? Putting flowers on an empty cascate? Even though ultimately he knows the world is better without him and nobody would give two shits if he died right now; would all be the same to them. He could just poof! End it all right now, definitely plenty of sharps around.

  
  


**Sol 624**

“I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die-” a broken mantra for a broken man.

  
  


**Log Entry: Sol 630**

It’s been a while since I’ve actually sat down and written one of these. Status update <strike>since NASA would love that</strike>: I’ll definitely have copious amounts of PTSD, the voices got unbaring so I decided to start talking to them, I hardly know what's a dream and what's reality, fuck Mars, really, suicide seems like a great option,<strike> maybe some cuts would be a friendly reminder of what it’s like to feel human</strike>, more work, HAB feels like it’s about to combust, and <strike>I’m so gonna die</strike>.

I honestly have no clue what I’m living for anymore. It used to be my family and friends, my cat and my dog, maybe I can turn my dog into an emotional support animal? I’ll think more on that later when I’m not going to die. Then again I probably won’t live through this. 

I’ll eventually  _ have to _ raise the white flag.

**Log Entry: Sol 630(2)**

Honestly, I don’t hate Mars.

**Log Entry: Sol 630(3)**

How _is_ the crew? Did Beth and Chris finally get married? What about Martinez’s kid?

**Log Entry: Sol 630(4)**

What about my parents?

  
  


**Sol 682**

Why did Mark even work anymore? It only prolonged his inevitable fate. 

“ _ I’m not even fucking close to Ares IV arriving! I won’t make it. I won’t, I won’t, I just won’t!” _

Mark suddenly scrachely hissed out, “do you hear that Mars?! You fucking won!”

No point in all of this bickering with hallucinations. But it’s so comforting to pretend, what’s the harm in a bit of pretend? Rick is playing being offended at his dad joke (even if he isn’t a dad) and Melissa is scolding him for his cussing, Beth is covering her mouth chuckling, Chris is stoking the bridge of his nose in fake disappointment while holding back snorts, and Alex has his brows furrowed with his mouth as straight as a line.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Mark chuckled, playfully punching Rick’s shoulder.

_ “Oh good Lord I’m dead! Ah, the pain, oh the pain is unbearable,” Rick said in a monotone voice. _

“Stop being such a drama queen, Martinez.”

_ “He’s kinda right, Rick,” Beth chuckled from her laptop. _

_ “At least I do something worth money,” Rick laughed. _

“And what is that exactly?” Mark cupped his hear in Martinez’s direction.

_ “Piloting, duh.” Rick crossed his arms. _

“Piloting? Because that’s definitely  _ science _ .”

No reply was heard.


	2. Mars is Mean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark gets tortured more because yes-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying from all of the love thank you all so much djskakaakxkc-  
Now I know that I have people reading and I'm worried I'll make the wrong choice oof. 👀
> 
> .:Warning for chapter in the end notes:.

**Sol 701**

“ _ Damn, damnit, fuck it all to hell. _ ” Those cuts hurt more than he expected them to. He finally decided to use his just  _ fantastic  _ medical degree (he  _ totally  _ has a PhD in medical) to wrap up his arm. 

He felt bad.

**Log Entry: Sol 701**

Success! The three deep cuts have stopped flapping open! I had the weirdest sensation to poke the deep ones when I was wrapping it. I obviously didn’t, that would have been a bad- and frankly,  _ dumb _ \- idea. 

  
  


**Sol 811**

Nothing has happened to Watney since that incident on sol 701. The only thing is that he keeps on getting longer and longer hair (head hair, facial hair, and  _ literally everywhere else _ ) and he keeps getting skinnier. 

“Listen up kids,” Mark said to absoluely no one. “This is not how you lose weight correctly-  _ please don’t say that Mark Watney made you anorexic _ . This has been a PSA from Mark “Space Pirate” Watney. Stay fresh.” Mark did finger guns to an imaginary audience of kids that was surprisingly  _ not  _ a hallucination.

“ _ Funny, _ ” someone laughed. “ _ You are such a sad man. _ ”

“Of course I am, I have spent 805 sols completely alone,” Mark answered.

“ _ You’ve had us,” Beth spoke, walking around Mark. _

“I guess.”

“ _ We’re all happy you started talking to us,” Melissa smiled. _

“I am too.”

  
  


**Log Entry: Sol 834**

Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold.

**Log Entry: Sol 856**

They’re taking too fucking long.

**Log Entry: Sol 858**

Damnit Ares IV!

**Log Entry: Sol 901**

Please.

**Log Entry: Sol 901(2)**

I’m sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings are swearing (because Mark-) and non-graphic self harm. Skip sol 701 (the log entry is okay) part if you're not comfortable!
> 
> I kinda thought some of you might think he wrote "I'm sorry" because he's gonna do something, but no, he's saying sorry for swearing at Ares IV.


	3. Alert: Panic! Panic! Panic!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Oof-*

**Sol What the Fuck Ever (2,004)**

Nothing interesting has happened to Mark during the 1,000 and more sols. He actually hasn’t been talking at all for the past 1,000 sols. Just sitting in the Ares IV MAV, awaiting death. 

There was a loud noise outside of the MAV that Watney didn’t even seem to register. About three hours later, there was steps thumping up the ladder. 

“ _ You’re amounting to nothing, you know, _ ” Somebody tilted her head as she hissed it out.

“I know.”

“ _ You’re weak. _ ”

“I know.” The footsteps stopped.

“ _ You’re alone. _ ”

“I know.” The footsteps left and came back soon after with more.

“ _ You’re pathetic. _ ”

“I know.” The footsteps got closer.

“ _ You are nothing positive, Dr. Watney. _ ”

A hand appeared in his view as he quickly spun around, falling onto his ass. Mark gasped as his eyes widened. No one is here! 

“It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head,” he repeated, holding his knees up to his chest while rocking.

“Hello,” the person in the front said, crouching and reaching a hand out, “I’m Lee.”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Mark whimpered, covering his head and shaking.

“It’s okay,” they tried to comfort.

“You’re not real. You’re not real, you’re not real, you’re not real, you’re not real,” Mark zipped his eyes shut, tensing all of his muscles.

“We are.” Lee smiled gently. “Can I have your hand?”

Mark shook his head violently.

“Okay.”

Mark peered up at the group slowly, the space helmet stopping him from fully hiding his gaunt features from the crew. The man had a newer (and cleaner) looking suit than Mark’s suit he borrowed from Martinez, he had one eyebrow up and his mouth in a tight smile. Mark obviously couldn’t see his hair.

Lee wanted to confirm, “you’re Mark Watney, right?”

Mark nodded. He furrowed his brows and slowly reached a hand out to Lee, warily looking at the stranger.

“I won’t bite,” Lee chuckled at which Mark jumped at.

Mark’s hand landed on solid material of the suits chest he ran his hands slowly across the new colors and the sleeker design. He shakily got into a bear crawl and came closer to Lee, touching down his arm and across his hand of which he opened for Mark. Mark traced the fabrics and parts with a slight tilt of his head.

At the end of the sol, Mark didn’t leave the MAV.

**Sol 2,005**

Mark finally decided to come out with the gracious help of the crew. He could walk without either limping, falling, or passing out, so Lee decided to ask Zavier for help. 

Mark nearly kicked Zavier in his dick which was fun. 

Mark was yelling, "what are you?!"

It would have been funny if it wasn't so serious. Eventually Lee got Mark to calm down enough to where they could drag him into the HAB. Then he started shaking and screaming once they got into the airlock, yelling about how, "it's gonna blow up!"

Maybe he'll be better once he gets some rest?

**Sol 2,007**

Mark had  _ just  _ woken up, two soles after he passed out. Nothing much happened around him, just the crew talking about what happened.

Mark groaned and held his head, making a pained expression.

"Mark?" Len… Lobo… Lee. It was Lee. Lee said.

Mark peeked his eye opened and slouched forward, his chest close to his knees.

"Are you doing alright."

He didn't answer as he stared at the crew behind Lee.

"Ah, this is Ares IV. Ellie Hogan, our doctor, Zavier Braun, our pilot, Carolina Chase, our chemist, Aydin Hills, our sysop, and Katya Rahman, our botanist. Everyone, this is Mark Watney," Lee introduced everyone.

Mark waved slightly and did a small smile.

"You're so small and cute," Carolina squealed zooming right over to Watney to pinch his hollow cheeks.

Surprisingly, Mark didn't scream, he smiled wider and faced his whole body to Carolina as she smashed his face around. 

"So cute," she said one last time for good measure.


	4. Get Thwarted Bro-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NASA (more just Teddy) gets their wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

**Sol 2,008 (Mission Day 2)**

NASA freaked the fuck out when they got a message from Ares IV. Then they freaked the fuck out more when they actually read the update.

“_ Satcon, _

_ This is Ares IV reporting in. We’re doing fine; status: healthy. _

_ We landed safely and immediately set up the HAB which was a success. Then, we moved all of the extra rations and equipment to the HAB which was also a success. We’re checking in because we’ve recently made contact with Mark Watney of Ares III. We haven’t had the chance to examine him, though Hogan said that she could immediately tell he was at the last stages of starvation. I can also infer that he most likely will have some form of PTSD and also extreme isolation. _

_ Ares IV out. _”

Everyone was silent in the control room. Everyone faced their coworkers and silently agreed that Teddy and Venkat had to get down here now, no matter that it was 2:00 AM.

  
  
  
  


Venkat hissed into his phone, “it’s two fucking AM what could there possibly be?”

“Kapoor? We just got a message from Ares IV. It’s urgent.”

He shot up like a bullet.

“On my way.”

  
  
  
  


Once he got there he immediately noticed Teddy and the tense atmosphere.

“What’s urgent enough to get me out of my warm bed at 2 o’clock?”

“Read the board,” Teddy answered, rubbing his forehead.

It only took seconds for Venkat to get to the important news. “How did he live for four years?”

“Alone,” Teddy added on.

“We don’t actually know,” Mindy Park answered, shrugging. “As you can see, they didn’t specify.”

“Send a message back,” Teddy waved his hand at the large message board. “Order them to tell us how he lived and to give us a full medical report on Watney. And to give a picture.”

Venkat looked at Teddy in a surprised manner. “Why exactly would you want a picture?”

“Just to be 100% sure.”

“What, do you not _ believe them _?!”

“I just want to make sure.”

Venkat sighed and crossed his arms, nodding slowly.

“Okay,” Venkat breathed out. “Okay.”

**Sol 2,009**

“Mark,” Carolina cooed, softly shaking his shoulder. “Wake up, you martian.”

Mark hummed, “hm?”

He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes, blinking slowly at Carolina. Then, proceeding to thump back down on the makeshift cot.

Carolina sighed. “Lee, come get your pet up.”

“We’ve already had this conversation: he is _ not _my pet.” He still walked over and flicked Mark’s nose. “Get up, we need this to be a productive day!”

Mark grumbled.

“Don’t be like that. NASA sent a message back, they want Ellie to do an exam and they also want a picture, so put on your best smile.”

Mark opened his mouth and pointed to his teeth.

“Good point,” Aydin called from the back, at which Katya smacked his head.

Mark frowned as Ellie held up a camera in the direction of him. Then he got the best idea ever.

**Sol 2,010 (Mission Day 3)**

NASA got a message from Ares IV with an attachment.

“_ NASA, this is Ellie Hogan of Ares IV with a report on Watney. _

_ I was correct with my assumption of starvation, he is definitely not prepared to launch yet. We didn’t get to look at everything, like his arms, but all of the cuts I saw were superfisial and were small. His right leg seamed to have been broken at some point, though it’s not extremely bad. I’ll give you another update once we get a look at his arms. _

_ Ellie Hogan out. _”

“Okay,” Venkat breathed out, wiping his forehead with his hand. “I guess that’s not the worst.”

“Still bad for PR,” Annie said, crossing her arms.

“The picture that was sent is taking a bit to load,” Mindy piped up from her workspace.

“That’ll be even worse for PR. Why did you want them to send a picture, Teddy?”

“Proof.”

“What? You didn’t _ believe _ them,” Annie asked, throwing her arms up with a small, “unbeliveable!”

“I just wanted to,” Teddy made a motion with his hands, “make sure.”

Venkat turned to the group. “You know Lee would never do that, right?”

“I don’t know him.”

“You should.”

“Hey,” Mindy said, getting up and pointing to the screen. “It’s up and… Oh my god.”

Venkat, Annie, and Teddy looked up at the screen. Watney was holding up a sign as was as flipping the camera off. The sign read, “Dear NASA,

Why did you abandon me on Mars? Was my good looks just too much to handle? Did you guys just not like me? Was my botany just too good? Also, fuck you, why in Mars did you not cheack Pathfinder? Why did you not look at the satellites? I look like an anorexic hippie because of your guys’ shit now.

Love, Captain Blondbeard. Xoxoxo <3”

Venkat chuckled, Teddy sighed, and Annie scoffed, gritting her teeth.

“What a di-”

“Remember he spent four years _ alone _, Annie,” Venkat interrupted Annie.

“Good point. Just think about the PR storm we’ll face."


	5. Fuck Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark wants them all to fly down into the oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .:Warnings at the end chapter notes:.
> 
> Sorry for the wait- T~T

**Sol 2,013**

“Let me check your arm, Mark,” Ellie commanded, holding out her hand.

“No,” Mark whined, clutching his arms to his chest.

“Why? There must be a reason.”

“Noooo…”

“Don’t make me get Lee,” Ellie threatened, furrowing her brows.

Mark shook his head hard.

“Fine,” she sighed. “Lee, I need your help!”

“Yeah, Ellie?” Lee came over, crossing his arms.

“Watney won’t let me see his arms, I need help.”

“Wh- okay,” Lee said, raising an eyebrow. “How?”

“Uh… Ask him?”

**Sol 2,013(2)**

It didn’t go so well.

Mark ended up picking quite a fight when Lee reached for his arms; he wobbly stood up and backed away until there was nothing left to back away into. Then, he proceeded to throw bottles, paper, and lab equipment (some were glass mind you). Mark was panting and fell down, stuttering out of the makeshift doctors office and into the main area of the HAB. Everyone turned with surprised expressions. It ended up being a team effort to hold Mark down (lightly) and peeled off his sweaty, Mars sand colored gauze off of his wrist.

Cuts new and old, pink, red, and pale piled on both of his arms, stopping just above his elbow. Deep and shallow. Bleeding, caked in coagulated, dry blood or just not even there. Some were buzzing with pain and others were numb. The most recent ones (from around sol 1,090-2,000) still itched, a sign of still healing. Ellie, as unmoving as everyone was, immediately got the med-kit and took Mark to the storage cabinet, digging out a bottle of water. She dumped it on a cloth from her bag and gently wiped Mark’s cuts, cleaning them. Next, she wiped them with saline wipes. 

“Mark,” Lee rubbed his face and cupped his own cheeks. 

“Lee, not now,” Ellie said sternly, glancing back at Lee.

“God I just- oh… Holy shit.”

“Okay, Mark, I need you to close your eyes and count to ten, I need to get out all of the small rocks and some clumped sand in the deeper ones. It’ll help if you close your eyes and focus on your breathing, alright?”

“Mhm,” Mark hummed, locking his eyes shut and breathing out deeply.

“You’re gonna feel a cold pinch in three, two, one,” Ellie whispered, lightly grasping Mark’s arm.

Mark felt, like Ellie said, a cold pinch from the sudden pain and coldness of the metal tweezers. Then, he felt her shuffling around, widening the wound with the tweezers until she found a chunk of red, martian, sand, she, as carefully as she could, shoveled the sand out, the push and pull of the lumpy sand made Mark hiss. Ellie mumbled a little, “sorry,” and continued working; pulling out all kinds of sand, dirt, and small stones.

“I need you to rest now, don’t put too much pressure on either of your arms. You don’t need stitches, which we’re very lucky about. Just be careful and relax as much as you can. Your malnutrition won’t help the healing process at all,” Ellie said calmly as she was wrapping his arms up.

“Do,” He made a humming sound for a quick second, “am I a freak?”

Ellie snapped off her gloves and threw them into the trash bin, swerling back at him on her swivel chair.

“I can say with 100 precent certainty that no, you are not a freak.” She lightly laid her hand on his knee, smiling and patting it. “Now go rest, it’s been an action packed day.”

Mark nodded and walked to his cot, staring at the ceiling as his arms thumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .:WARNINGS: panicking, talking about self harm, gore:.
> 
> Oh Jesus thank you all so much for the support; 250+ hits? Wow! Thank you! I really thought no one would see this but wooptedo I'm here now. :P
> 
> Thank you again you lovely readers! ❤


	6. Carolina Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark spends the day with the delightful Carolina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER SUDDENSHRIKE!

** Sol 2,017 **

Mark groaned at the splitting headache he had.

“Hey, Martian,” Carolina whispered, smiling.

“I-I- I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no,” she quickly squeezed Mark into a hug, “it’s okay.”

“I scared you,” Mark whimpered.

“Yeah, you did,” Carolina breath out a laugh. “I was scared for you and the others. I know that’s kinda cliche but I was.”

“Why are you here?” Mark decided to change the topic.

“We’ve decided to take turns with watching you, so you’re stuck with me for today. Oh yeah you’re also bedbound for a few sols.” She ignored the change of subject, deciding to answer his question.

Mark asked, “NASA?”

“What about NASA?”

“You guys did tell them, right?”

“Of course we did, it’s kinda the astronaut thing. They responded pretty much immediately, much faster than the other messages. All they did was understand that we would stay here for a few extra sols to make sure you won’t shatter on the way up to Herms,” Carolina responded.

“_Herms_?”

“I nicknamed Hermes to Herms because I like it.”

“Sounds like fun. I probably will shatter though.”

“Probably.”

**Sol 2,017(2)**

The whole day was pretty fun. Carolina and Mark played a few games (war, Uno, go fish, ect.) and talked.

“Who’s gonna watch me tomorrow?”

“I think Zavier is? I’m not entirely sure,” she responded, continuing to type away on her computer. 

"Zavier, he's a… What is he again?"

"He's our pilot, you know? Zooms around a tin can," Carolina laughed out.

"He's like Martinez, except not so…" he wiggled his arms around.

Carolina tapped her chin. "Rick Martinez. What were you two like?"

"Oh we were always, you know, making fun of each other. He would say I wasn't that important because of course botany isn't real science." Mark chuckled. "I would come back at him and say that piloting wasn't science at all. Then he would say something like, "at least I can do something important instead of planting a garden." I'm gonna rub it in his face that botany saved my life."

"He sounds harsh."

"Yeah, the jokes we make to each other sound mean on the surface, but it's like our little running joke. It never really meant anything. Actually, I think we both took it more as complements than insults. Truthfully, he was interested in how I would grow plants on Mars, and I was thankful for him shooting us down from our Hermes to Mars with minimal shaking."

"Your crew sounds like a real family, Mark," Carolina squealed and hugged him. "I'm super happy we could be the ones to return you to your family!"

"You know what?" He turned to Carolina once she let him out of the death grip of a hug. "Maybe something good will come out of this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys were wondering, here is the list of characters with lots of jokes.
> 
> Mark Watney: funny, limps, stutters, anxious, strong minded, “deal with the future not the past” kind of guy, bisexual, loves family to death, “Space Pirate”, botney is his bitch, legit a ticking time bom tbh, such a bottom like shshaksncvntvni-, short (“Luckily he wasn’t a very big man. Martinez’s clothes fit over his and Vogel’s cloths fit over Martinez’s.” Height of Ares III crew is Beth, Melissa, Mark, Rick, Alex, and Chris.)
> 
> Ellie Hogan: Doctor
> 
> Lee Wallows: Commander
> 
> Zavier Braun: Pilot
> 
> Carolina Chase: Chemist
> 
> Aydin Hills: Sysop
> 
> Katya Rahman: Botanist


	7. Bad Space Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark brakes Zavier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not enough pain yet. :')

**Sol 2,018**

Carolina was right.

Mark woke up with Zavier focused on his laptop, of which he closed as soon as he noticed Mark was up.

“How are you doing?”

“Better than I have been for the past four-or-so years,” Mark replied, attempting to stretch.

Zavier spun around in his chair, saying, “any pains?”

“What? Are you my new doctor now,” Mark said as more of a statement.

“No, Ellie wanted me to keep tabs on how you were doing today, since Carolina is fairly forgetful and just a bit,” he put his fingers close together, “unreliable. So, any pains?”

“Nope, doc.”

“Good, keep in mind that I am in fact  _ not  _ your doctor.”

Mark was now set on making this man crack his serious face.

“Hey Zavier?”

“Huh,” Zavier hummed, turning to face Mark.

“Why are Saturn and Neptune considered the butt cheeks of the solar system?”

“Uh… Why?”

“'Cause Uranus is between them.”

Zavier looked at Mark with a blank face as Mark cackled.

“Hey,” Mark continued.

“Yeah, Mark?”

“What do you think NASA said when Mars said “I'm wet”?” 

“What did NASA say?”

“I'm coming!”

“Jesus…”

**Sol 2,018(2)**

Mark continued telling terrible jokes until Zavier finally walked out.

“Come back, Zavie! I’m not done!” Mark then continued with, “What does Mars smell like?”

“No Mark!”

“Nothing really, but it does have a bit of an Elon Musk to it!”

“Oh my god!”

“God won’t save you now, Zavier,” Mark evilly laughed.

“Please help me, Lee,” Zavier clung to Lee’s arm.

“What-”

“What does a-”

“Lee help me!”

Lee decided to help the two of them. “What are you doing out of bed, Mark?”

“I… I’m fine,” Mark’s voice crackled as he spoke.

“No, your feet are still cut.”

“But I need to do something,” Mark complained.

“No, Mark, everything is taken care of,” Lee said, walking forward to scoop up Mark.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no- what about the potatoes?” He started hyperventilating. “The solar panels need to be cleaned. The water… Rations, what about rations.” Mark started to whisper, “systems need to be checked… Pathfinder needs to work. Research. Water, I gotta water the plants. Sharp… Where’s the glass?”

Zavier let go of Lee’s arm and walked around Lee, putting his hand on Mark’s shoulder. “Mark…?”

“Stop! No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Mark could speak, the world was closing in, he ran to the airlock.

“Mark! Open the door,” Lee yelled through the thick door, slamming on it.

“Guys,” Zavier called to the crew as Lee continued telling Mark to open the door.  _ If he clicked “decompress” he would die and Ares IV couldn't do anything about it _ . This is tedious.

“Mark.” Mark heard the light voice of Katya. “Let do some botany together, help me with your experiments.”

“No,” Mark whined curling up on the floor of the airlock.

“Mark please,” Ellie pleaded.

The door opened and everyone flooded in before Mark had the chance of clicking the “decompress” button. Screaming and hitting ensued, with Mark flailing and punching. Aydin held Mark’s left arm as Lee held his right. Ellie left but that was the least of Mark’s worries. Katya and Carolina were talking to Mark, trying to entertain him. Ellie returned with a needle, with made Mark even more skittish. She tapped his right arm a few times, then carefully stuck the needle in, pushing the plunger. Mark could  _ taste  _ the bitter chemicals as she pulled the needle out.

His fingers and toes went numb, slowly, his body got fuzzier and fuzzier until he closed his eyes and let unconsciousness cover him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst, more angst, more angst, MORE ANGST, MORE ANGST, MORE ANGST-
> 
> I'm diving back into angst because I feel like more suffering is appropriate.


	8. Raise Your Hand If You're a Big Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark suffers in a happier way.

**Sol 2,019**

The amount of times a man could say the same exact words was amazing. Since the time that he woke up, to now, Mark has been non-stop saying, “I’m sorry.”

Katya dragged him away from everyone to her station.

“Let’s do some gardening,” Katya said, trying to distract Mark. 

Mark hummed impulsively and sat on a spinny chair that Katya pulled over with his legs curled up.

“So,” Katya started. “Are you excited to get home?”

Mark nodded in reply and fiddled with his pants, sweating profusely at the idea of seeing everyone.

"I hear your family and crew are really looking forward to seeing you. You have people rooting for you so you gotta hold on," Katya said, placing a hand gently on Mark's shoulder making him flinch but ease into calmness.

Mark took a breath and felt his eyes burn as his vision swam. Tears were making their way out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He look a few gasping breaths and hugged himself, attempting to calm down. Mark swallowed the lump in his throat and breathed out slowly.

"You're doing great, Mark," Katya comforted, rubbing in between Mark's shoulders. "Just breathe. You're doing really good."

Mark nodded and clutched the chair, grumbling in pain as his back hurt.

'_ Fucking digging _,' Mark sighed in his head.

"Go rest, you really need it," Katya urged, pushing the swivel chair to Mark's bed. "Sleep is key for healing, so do it and get better. I belive in you, Dr. Watney,” Katya cheered, covering Mark neatly in a blanket.

“Don’ call me Dr. Watney, my name is Mark,” he slurred out.

“Sure thing, Mark.”

He huffed out a laugh before he slept.

**Sol 2,019 (2)**

“How will you be able to do your botney if you wont touch a shovel,” Ellie asked as she was checking Mark’s back.

“Fingers exist,” Aydin chimed in from his desk.

Mark hummed in approval and did a thumbs up.

“Don’t encourage that, Mark,” Lee laughed.

“Eat,” Ellie said sternly as she gave him _ mush in a bag _ . A fucking _ bag _.

Mark fake gagged and plugged his nose, swiping his hand at the bag.

“Mark,” Aydin chided, “you need to gain weight before you get out of baby food stage, eat big boy, EAT!”

Mark snorted and sipped at the straw, hoping to _ god _ it wasn’t fucking potatoes. To his luck it wasn’t, it was beef with veggies. Not as bad as _ potatoes _, Mark spat just thinking about those things.

“Ew,” Vavier gagged. “Beef with vegetables? That trash?”

Mark shrugged, “better than potatoes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait dhdhsjsjxmx-
> 
> I'm crying I'm so sorry for the long wait for this! This is literally only just a fluffy filler to think of more ideas.
> 
> Again, I'm super sorry!


	9. Andele Andele!

**Sol 2,019 (3)**

Mark had finished his bag of room temperature mush and laid back, listening to the crew and resting his back. He's never touching a damn shovel again; at least he's never going to dig large amounts of dirt. 

Mark growled as he flipped over, ‘ _ damn headache. _ ’ Mark left it to stress and/or slight dehydration.

**Log Entry: Sol ah shit (2,020)**

I feel terrible. My arms are like noodles, like really, really sloppy chicken noodle soup. I feel even worse than when I was surviving on fucking  _ potatoes,  _ which is definitly not good. I don’t know whether to tell Ellie. Maybe I should tell Lee? What about Carolina? Zavier? Aydin? Maybe Katya? I need them to like me, and not like because I want them to, I really need them to. If they don’t like me (I shivered while typing that) I will actually curl up and die. Literally. I hate thinking about if they don’t like me.

**Sol 2,022**

Mark found it progressively harder and harder to hide his… Sickness? He dosn’t want to think about the shit storm that would come with being immuno-compromised and sick. 

Mark first told himself it was a cold or something, talked his racing heart down to a calm beat. He then told himself it was a side effect from starving for four years. He then couldn’t think about any other things to blame his terrible ill feelings on, so he seriously considered telling the crew, but ended up zipping his lips shut. 

Cut to now where he was coughing up a storm and throwing up, feeling like the worst hunk of human ever.

“You should have told us,” Ellie said, helping to hold his long hair up.

Mark nodded while he was busy emptying his stomach.

“Let him focus on aiming," Zavier replied. "Does anyone want to clean vomit?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"No but we might have to," Lee said, rubbing his eyes. "It's way past our bedtime."

Mark’s throat burned from the vomit and his sore throat, making his head spin.

“You need to sleep, Mark,” Carolina said, wiping off the residue from his puking.

Mark whimpered out a small, “no,” and hugged his middle.  _ His stomach felt so uneasy _ .

“You have to, Mark,” Ellie said, putting her hands on her hips and looking at Mark with a hard stare.

Mark whimpered and hugged himself tighter, immediately regretting that as his stomach gurgled. Mark squeezed his eyes shut and started carefully rocking, attempting to ease his stomach.

"Go rest guys, I'll," Lee yawned, "stay with him."

The others nodded and retreated to their bunks, throwing blankets over themselves. 

Lee sighed and knelt down to Mark's level. 

"Sleep is really good for when you're sick, it helps your body heal."

Mark whined and bent over, curling over his arms and sobbed, choking on his swollen throat.

"Come here, Mark." Lee carefully lifted the small man in his arms and returned him to his bed, cleaning out the bucket and setting it on the floor next to Mark's bed. 

Lee was about to walk away as Mark grabbed his sleeve, whimpering softly.

"You need to rest," Lee whispered as he ran a hand through Mark's long hair and proceeded to attempt to walk away again.

Mark whined louder and clutched Lee's arms, pulling him back.

"Mark…" Lee rubbed his eyes and blinked slowly. "Okay, but you need to sleep."

Mark nodded barely and grimaced at the stabbing pain. Lee took notice and pet Mark's hair, rubbing his shoulder and back soothingly.

"It's okay, close your eyes and rest."

Mark didn't know when he passed out, but he did so like a rock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm accually sick right now too. :( I have a really bad sore throat which sucks, I'm super tired, my nose is draining like a faucet, and I have a really bad cough.
> 
> Luckily I'm not immuno-compromised like Mark is. That would really suck


	10. It's Settled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM REALLY SORRY FOR THE WAIT AJAJDNSNSNSNSNSNDNSNNDND- 
> 
> Lack of ideas is kicking my ass and I really welcome ideas all of the time, currently I have ideas for about maybe... Two to four chapters before it goes splat and I'm back on ground zero.
> 
> If you have any ideas for what could happen on the Herms, please for the love of this story, share them! I will give you credit of course.

**Log Entry: Sol 2,023**

I want to die. That isn’t too much of a change so let me fix that. I _ feel _ like I’m dying. This is such bullshit. I can hardly move without dying loudly. The crew was trying to get me to focus on other things like questions about me or my samples, things like that. It made me happy to know they cared if I’m suffering or not. At least _ someone _of NASA cares about me. I know they didn’t mean anything with not turning on Pathfinder, or looking for me using a satellite, or searching for me, or making sure none of the extra suits were being worn, but thats hard to focus on when you are the person it happened to.

I'm so damn restless.

**Sol 2000,000,024**

Mark's throat burned as he drank his nutrient shake which everyone _ swears _ will be okay because NASA really made sure to pack extra food, especially after… Mark's... Thing. Mark was just a waste of space, a waste of good food and energy for Ares IV. Ellie was at the end of his bed taking notes while Lee was thinking deeply and Carolina was pacing, the others were trying to cheer themselves up. No work was getting done, all because of Mark.

"You're why the power is failing," sounded a voice from the corner. "The potatoes, Ares IV will starve to death because of you not watching the potatoes."

Mark glanced at the single potato plant that made it through the trek here. That potato is Potato Mark. The difference between Mark and Potato Mark is that flesh and bones Mark was dead, while Potato Mark was alive and well, being watched closely by Katya. Potato Mark will make it through, unlike Mark. He has faith in Katya. Potato Mark isn't sick either, Potato Mark will make it through this. Potato Mark has to, it's the only way Mark will make it, his soul is tied to Potato Mark's leafy-green body. Potato Mark will make it.

"Mark." The cup next to him moved.

"Mark." The world is spinning.

"Mark." He's seeing double.

"Mark." Sweat trickles into his eye.

"Mark!" His head is thumping.

"Mark!" His hands hurt.

"Mark no!" Why does his arms burn?

"Mark don't move!" Why is his leg warm?

"Wipes now!" Why is he hurting?

"Damn it! We're losing him!" Who's holding him down?

"Get the stitches!" His legs burning.

"Go away! None of you are helping!" Can a ghost feel pain?

  


Science filled the room as Ellie finished with the last stitch, taking off her gloves and throwing them away, putting all of her tools in the sink to sterilize later. She just… Can't deal with this right now.

Lee asked, "will Mark be alright?" 

"I'm not sure. He lost a lot of blood," she answered, rubbing the sand out of her eyes.

"What do you mean?!"

"I don't know, Aydin! I just…" Ellie let out a breath, "I don't know."

Aydin apologized, "sorry. Sorry, I didn't- mean to. I'm just really worried."

"I think we all are." Lee's statement was met with nods.

"It would be terrible if he died now," Zavier said, swiping his hair into a small ponytail. "He survived so much, and to die now would be the end."

"Literally," Katya sighed from her seat.

Lee asked, "when will we be able to go?"

"You mean Mark," Aydin asked.

"Yeah."

"Mark still hasn't even gotten close to the mark I set for a safe weight for traveling to the Hermes. That much G force would just be too much, it could possibly break all of Mark's bones and puncture his organs, causing him to bleed out. He's also sick which is just not good for the strength of his organs either." Ellie breathed in through her nose. "It's a bad outcome for everything."

"Yeah? Well we can't just stick around here forever," Zavier yelled. "We can't make endless amounts of food and live like Mark did! Our food is getting low and I know you all noticed, it's impossible not to. We can't keep supporting Mark and all of us with what we have, this was only meant for us six, not seven! Mark was dead, we can't keep going like this for any longer. Its dire we get out, and _ soon _."

Everyone nodded, looking towards Ellie and Lee for answers.

"He's right, Ellie," Lee said.

"I know. How about this: we can get going in three to four sols, I'll try to ready Mark but he'll still be way off target. Try to cook up a stronger, thicker suit for him, let's try to go for minimal damage to the merchandise."

"On it, Captain," Aydin said, rushing to his station with Zavier, Carolina, and Katya.

"Sorry, Lee," Ellie apologized.

"You should be commander, you're a helluva lot better than me. I'll help with packing and with Mark." Lee paused, turning to face Ellie as he was walking away, "let's not damage the merchandise."


	11. A/N

Hello readers! It's your friendly talking egg here.

First of all, thank you all so much for the support! It really helped me keep writing this!

Second, this story will be unfinished, but I will leave it up for those who like it.

Third, I'm only ending this story becuase I dont like where its going, it's way too rushed from what I would like it to be.

Thank you all so much for the love that you guys gave me! Stay tuned for the new story!


	12. Okay So...

Hahahaha WE ALL FUCKING THOUGUT I WOULD STOP HAH!

Yeah, turns out I just needed a break to get back to writing this, sorry for all those who (like me) though this would end. Good news though: I'm working on the next part! I've decided to go slower and try to think of good things to write about. I now know where this is going and when it'll end.

Thank you so much for reading this! Again, so sorry I'm such a blind idiot!


	13. Flying in a Glorified Tin Can

**Sol 2,034**

Mark mostly slept while everyone packed. The times he was awake, he felt so utterly useless that he just wanted to go  _ back  _ to sleep. Katya, Aydin, and Carolina all carried his rock and soil samples (Katya took all of the plants up) to the MAV. Sojourner was like Mark's baby, so he held onto him, not allowing anyone to take him.

The day soon arrived, though it felt so unreal.  _ He was going to go home _ . The thick suit clung uncomfortably to Mark's everything, putting more pressure on his not fully healed cuts and knee.

"Are we all ready?", Lee asked, supporting the weight of Mark's suit with the help of Aydin.

"I think so," Zavier answered as he looked around.

"Good," Lee nodded.

Then, all that was left was to get Mark and Sojourner onto the MAV. Sojourner was simple to move, they just had to carry him up. Now with Mark, it was trickier.

"How are we supposed to do this? We can design a new seat in a MAV but we cant figure out how to get a person up a ladder?", Carolina semi-joked.

"I could just walk up?", Mark said, shrugging.

"No," Ellie immediately sprung into action, startling everyone. "That's unsafe."

"Well I want to get home and the only thing standing between me and escape is a ladder," Mark deadpanned, limping past everyone to hook his foot onto the ladder of the MAV.

"We'll be behind you," Lee said as Zavier popped his head out of the MAV, reaching a hand down for Mark to hold.

Slowly climbing up the ladder was a tiresome chore, but in the end, he made it up. Getting strapped into the seat with ratchet straps wasn't the most elegant solution, but it was the best. 

"Is everyone ready?", Lee asked once everyone was in.

There was a collection of "yes".

"You're ready as well, Mark?", Lee attempted to look at him.

"I can't believe this is real. Is this real?", Mark asked mostly himself.

"Yeah, Mark. This is real," Ellie confirmed.

"Okay. Okay. I'm ready."

Mark took a gasping breath as the MAV started. Panic stabbed through him.  _ They were going to leave him oh God he wasn't going to live, hes going to die oh God _ .

"Breath, Mark. We're not leaving you," Carolina comforted.

Mark jolted,  _ he had said that _ ?

"I would hold your hand but I'm strapped down," Katya laughed.

Mark halfheartedly chuckled, shaking his hand compulsively, his eyes watering as the G's took his breath away. He yelped as his ribs suddenly cracked.

"Mark?", Zavier called.

"Yeah?", Mark wheezed out.

"What happened?", Ellie asked.

"Ribs broke maybe."

"Okay, breath slowly and we'll check it when we get to the Hermes," Ellie said, attempting to crane her head around to look at Mark.

"We're reaching the Hermes," Zavier informed.

The stop was jarring, it made Mark's stomach lurch. Aydin unstrapped Mark from the chair and took him out towards the rest of the crew inside of the Hermes airlock.

"Am I not on Mars?", Mark asked.

"Yes," Ellie answered, "you're off."

"Wow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy to be back to writing this! I'm determined to complete this!


	14. Oh My God Mars Looks Fucked Up Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew go with the plan to zoom in a tin can to a bigger tin can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Wow, I actually updated. Sorry for the long wait! Don't fret, I am determined to complete this, no matter how long it takes! Stick will me and I'll get this done!

The float to the x-ray was magical. He was off Mars. Off Mars.

"Looks like you have four broken ribs, a broken wrist, and a dislocated shoulder. Your leg is still lame," Ellie said, jotting down a few notes. "How's your mood?"

"I still can't believe it. I'm off Mars." Mark looked out the rooms window, seeing that hellscape.

"That's good, take time. You need to shower, I'll get Aydin to help you, since he already finished his work."

"Mhm," Mark nodded, still looking at Mars.

Ellie climbed up the ladder. Jesus, Mark didn't even notice. He looked around, fighting the growing anxiety away. The slow turning of the Hermes made his head spin, and the artificial gravity felt heavy on his chest, irritating his everything. He slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed, wavering slightly. He ignored his instinct to not get up. Mistake. He stood up and immediately fell, hitting his forehead on the floor, hard enough to leave a bruise. 

"Augh," he moaned, slapping a hand onto his forehead, making it ache. 

He slowly got up on aching legs, using the table-bed as a support. His arm shook as he used his good one to pull himself up. Only using one arm and one leg with one of your wrists aching and one of your legs sprawled behind you after you spent four years without gravity socks. His ribs made a snaping feeling as he attempted to straighten up, hissing, he jolted back into a hunched over posture, his eyes feeling like they were about to pop out.

"Mark," Ellie exclaimed, holding his gut to support him. "What on earth are you doing?"

Mark coughed. "First of all, not funny. Second, I wanted to walk, didn't work out that well, huh?", he laughed as Ellie helped ease him onto the table.

"No walking with broken ribs and an out of commission leg. I was just getting Aydin and a med kit."

Aydin just then slid down the ladder, saying, "talking about me without me?"

"No, just chasing Mark around about no walking," Ellie replied, enfissising the last part as Mark grinned.

"Yeah, if the doctor says no, that's a no. So, what's he got?"

"Broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, broken wrist and a lame leg," Ellie said as she took out a towel and a rubber block. "I'm going to have you bite this as we relocate your shoulder. Do whatever you have to but try not to jolt, you could dislocate worse before we get it back in to the socket."

Mark nodded, wincing as she put the towel under his shoulder and the rubber piece in his mouth.

"Aydin is going to hold your chest, okay?"

Mark nodded, humming out a muffled, "yeah".

"Alright, Aydin, put your hand here and here," Ellie put Alydin's left hand on Mark's left pectoral and Alydin's right near Mark's shoulder.

"Everyone good?", Ellie asked.

Mark nodded and presumably, Aydin did too, because not a second later, Mark felt a shot of hot pain shoot up his shoulder as Ellie cranked it, placing it back into the socket with a, 'pop!'

Mark yelled, biting hard on the rubber and letting out muffled yells, slightly jolting but fighting the movement. His jaw began to ache as he bit so hard.

"Okay, it's done, it's over," Ellie said, taking the towel out from under Mark's arm and the biting block out of his mouth.

Mark gritted his teeth. "Oh God, fuck, ah I wanna die, fuck you Mars," Mark said through gritted teeth and gasps for breath.

"Amen, sister. Fuck you Mars," Aydin nodded, flipping off Mars with Mark.

Ellie shugged. "Fuck you Mars," she said, flipping it off as well.

Mark laughed, coughing slightly as he let his arm fall.

"So like, when am I getting a cast and are you guys going to sign it?", Mark asked.

"Sure," Adyin said.

"You're going to get your casts right now, then you're going to wash your grime off with bags over them. You'll ice on your chest as well. It looks like only two are broken and two more are cracked, you're lucky they aren't the ones above your lungs."

"This still doesn't beat that time I fell out of a tree when I was six and sprained my wrist," Mark said as Ellie began the process of applying padding and plaster, allowing it to dry.

"This is worse," Aydin said, shaking his head.

"Nah, I got PTSD from that damn tree," Mark shook his head back.

The smell of drying plaster was a bit potent, but hey, it'll hold the bones. In the meantime, Ellie was putting ice on Mark's chest.

"Breath deeply to avoid puncturing an organ and don't do any heavy lifting or activities. I think you won't be doing any of those for a bit either," Ellie said.

Mark hummed and closed his eyes. Suddenly, he was extraordinarily tired.

"I'm gonna sleep, yeah?"

Rustle of clothing. "Ellie just nodded. Yeah, sure, how about you get that shower after?"

Mark nodded, humming a small, "yeah," before passing out like a rock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know times are really tough right now. Covid-19 is yeeting everyone out of existence like a kid with brussel sprouts and a spoon. I'm 98% sure that me and my family have it, though we haven't gotten tested because we're in the middle of ass-nowhere. Like, no need for us to get other's sick.
> 
> We wouldn't get tested anyway because we aren't in critical. Man, when people said they wanted 2020 to be like the roarin' 20's, I don't think they ment this lol. What a catastrophe this has been. 
> 
> So let's tell a fun story, yeah? 
> 
> When I was younger, I was at a waterpark (a certain, cheep, well known one in Wisconsin Dells *coughcough* Mount Olympus *cough*) and I was like, eight or something like that? Little gremlin Egg just skipping though the pools. Not only had I seen an old, wrinkly man with his lion print speedo on just barely in the lazy river and I had mental scars from that, but I had been rolled over by full body adults who didn't even say sorry when they like, half drowned me.
> 
> Least to say, I was hurt mentally, I had water leaking out of my nose, and I was alone in the lazy river. Me being bored, I spotted two teens (probably like, over 18) chilling. I got the largest, most evil smile on my face. Running up to them, I roared and splashed them. Them being nice, they screamed (like, really fake) and began to run away. I chased them for like, I good 10 minutes before I got bored once again. I wanted to go on a waterside, but was too scared (and probably to light) to go alone. 
> 
> So what did I do? I called, "why are you running? I need to find my parents," with the saddest frown I could think of and tears spilling from my eyes. 
> 
> They paused, looking at each other like, "wtf do we do now?"
> 
> Tldr; we found my parents (I knew where they were) and they asked if I wanted to slide for a bit. I nodded and waved at my parents, who were probably thinking, "who the duck for those people with my child?" We took turns and I rode down with the guy then the girl.
> 
> All I remember is that the girl had very spikey leg hair so now I call her Cactus Lady.
> 
> If you want more weird stories I got tons more.


End file.
